Tears
by LEMONedy
Summary: Yoshiki, leader of X Japan, is madly in love with hide. When he is informed on certain events, he thinks back on times of him and his friend together. Shounen Ai/Boys love, don't read if ya' don't like, reviews are appreciated . **May make you cry.


"He died, just last night. We found him this morning with a towel tied around his neck, which was attached to the door knob of his bathroom door. His funeral will be in a few days. We have yet to release the exact date, though. Your manager informed me that you, along with rest of X, are expected to perform." The man in black, whom was a complete stranger, yet looked important because of his uniform, announced coldly, hardly an emotion in his tone. At this moment, Yoshiki Hayashi had fell to his knees, trembling slightly. "Are you all right?" He asked with, again, hardly an emotion. Yoshiki's wavy blond hair covered his eyes, which were probably glistening at this point from tears not yer cried. He shook his head. "You're lying... I was with Hideto-kun, last night... At the bar... We were there, laughing... He said goodbye, I was there, I saw him, I remember... He's not gone..." Yoshiki's voice shook with horror.

The man tipped his hat, politely. "Yoshiki-san. I must be off, other more important business to attend to. Have a nice day, and get better for the funeral." Were his parting words, cold and harsh. With that, the door to Yoshiki's home was slammed shut, and echoed loudly. Yoshiki shook his head, once again."No..." He muttered, still in denial. His body shook violently. "Hideto-kun's not dead. That was some dumb hoax." He announced to himself, attempting to pass this all off as a joke.. He marched off to his room. Up the stairs, down the hallway, and to his right. He flopped himself down on the bed, still shooken by the joke. He reached for the remote, and clicked on the television. The first thing he saw was /his/ gorgeous, smiling face, with two dates in the corner. December 13th, 1964, and May 2nd, 1992. Why was he there...?

"Yoshiki, Yoshiki!" A man in his early thirties called. His skin was smooth, and fair, a bit pale. His lips were thin, as was his whole body, and his gorgeous black eyes were smothered in black eye shadow. His hot pink hair was short, and spiky, almost messy looking. His sideburns were black and hung off of his face, and swished around as he moved his head, waving frantically to Yoshiki. Yoshiki turned his head to see the man running towards him. He sat on a bench, in a calm, peaceful park, not expecting any of the commotion that hide usually called.

"Ah, Hideto..." Yoshiki calmly replied to his call, as Hideto was still running down the path. hide stopped to catch his breath in front of Yoshiki. "Daaaaamn, 'made me run all this way, Yoshi-kuuuun..." Hideto panted. Yoshiki chuckled. "I didn't make you run..." He muttered calmly. Hideto laughed in reply.

"Well. You're a friend, so I felt the need to greet you as quickly as possible." Yoshiki's shade hidden eyes stared at the ground, to his shoes. "A friend, hm..." He smiled, lost in thought.

Hideto stared at the blond, confused. "'You all right...?" He asked. Yoshiki took off his shades, and smiled, warmly. "I'm fine, Hide-kun." He replied. He let out another chuckle. Hideto was completely lost, but tried to return a smile.

Beautiful, yet sorrowful melodies played throughout Yoshiki's house. The music was interupted, however, with the middle keys of the piano banging at once, and a gentle sob.

Yoshiki had been trying to compose the most beautiful piece for the most beautiful person he would meet in his life. It all seemed the same, though. He couldn't compose anything perfect enough for that person, whomever they may be. Yoshiki was so frustrated with himself, he just banged his head on the keyboard, and cried.

The stillness of the house was completely disrupted by Yoshiki's loud sobbing. As well as a knocking sound which had just pierced the repetitive crying of the pianist. Knocking sound? That must be the door, Yoshiki thought to himself. "Get the fuck out of here!" He screamed, not caring who was there. A familiar voice replied, "Yoshiki?" Yoshiki jumped up from his piano.. He left his piano room, and ran down the hall. He looked down from the stairs to see Hideto. The pink haired man, looking around, concerned as to where his friend may be. Yoshiki hid for cover behind the balcony of the second floor.

"Go away, Hide-kun..." Yoshiki cried into his arms, which were hugging his legs close to his body, giving away his hiding spot. Hideto ignored the denial of entry. "Yoshiki, are you all right...?" He called, his voice full of worry. Footsteps could be heard climbing the stairs. Yoshiki was about to crawl away to his bedroom, but he was stopped. A hand grabbed his shoulder. "Yoshiki, you're crying..." Hideto whispered, bending down to his level. Yoshiki leaned up against the balcony wall, and held his knees closer.

"You're not supposed to see me like this..." Yoshiki sputtered out, hiding his face in his legs. Hideto put a comforting arm around Yoshiki. Yoshiki leaned onto him, the second he felt the arm put around him. Hideto put his other arm around him, pulling him into a soothing embrace. The pink-haired man's usually fun-filled eyes calmed Yoshiki the second he looked into them. "Are you all right...? What happened...?" He whispered. Yoshiki rubbed his eye, and snuggled into Hideto's arms.

"I can't compose a song... A melody for the perfect person..." Yoshiki sniffled, sounding much younger than he was. Hideto stroked the man's blonde hair. "C'mon, don't get frustrated over that..." Hideto laughed, in a calm, sweet manner. "Have you even found this 'perfect person' you're talkin' about...?" He asked. Yoshiki nuzzled Hideto's side, his sobbing calming. "Not yet... I think I may have, though... I don't know..."

Yoshiki's saddened, tear drowned eyes stared up at Hideto, as Hideto's magnificent black eyes stared right back. They just stared at each other for a lengthy period of time, until Hideto began to lower his head and Yoshiki out-stretched his neck. Their lips met half-way in what was a gentle, child-like kiss. Even though they were both grown men, the kiss seemed very immature. Their mouths didn't open, their lips just pressed against each other. Yoshiki turned away, and more tears began to fall.

Hideto gently grabbed the side of Yoshiki's face, and made him stare into his hypnotizing eyes. "You gonna' be all right, Yoshiki...?" He asked, seriously. Yoshiki nodded, slowly. "Yes, Hideto... I'll be fine..."

"You're leaving...?" Yoshiki was in shock as he stood in front of the vocalist of his band, Toshi. Toshi nodded slowly in reply. "I'm sorry, Hayashi-kun... I just think it's time we ended." Toshi was talking about ending their band, X Japan. An extremely influential, cultural phenomenon, iconic turning point for Japanese music... And, here, with this small discussion, it was over. Yoshiki shook his head denying what Toshi had just said.. "Shut up! Stop joking!" He screamed, extremely upset.

Toshi just put his hand on Yoshiki's shoulder. "Seriously, man... It's time we stop..." Yoshiki shoved his palms into his eyes, trying to stop the tears. "No! Dammit! We can't! We're fucking huge!! No, we still have so much we can do..." He whispered. The two rock stars were in the dressing room after their last concert on their recent tour. "I understand, Toshi... If you feel the need... We'll end it..." A new voice agreed, calmly. Yoshiki turned back sharply to face Hideto.

Yoshiki shook his head. "Hideto... You can't mean that..." He could feel Hideto's hand on his shoulder. "Calm down... It's not the end of the world..." Hideto murmured, calmly. Yoshiki broke free of hide's grip on his shoulder. "Fuck you! Damn you all to fucking /Hell/!!" He screamed. "X is my life!! How could you!!" Toshi and Hideto just stared at him.  
"It's over." Toshi sighed, and left the room to Yoshiki and hide.

Yoshiki was crouched in the corner, pulling at his hair. He was crying, hysterically. "Dammit... No... Fuck..." He was whispering, almost chanting. Hideto didn't know if he should just walk out like Toshi, or stay with him... He crouched down low. "Yoshiki..." He muttered in a calming, friendly tone. Yoshiki looked up, his eyes wet from crying. Hideto laughed a bit, and brushed Yoshiki's tangled hair out of his face. "Now, now... You're a mess..."

Hideto tried smiling. Even though he knew he was just as sad as Yoshiki. He had never seen the blond so sad, before... Yoshiki's depressing gaze broke, and he began sobbing again, leaning into Hideto. He didn't know what to do... He just held the crying man, gently. And whispered 'Everything will be all right...' in his delicate ears. Yoshiki held Hideto back, tightly for support.

Yoshiki sniffled, trying to stop his sobbing. It didn't work. He stopped for a second, and let out a huge cry. Hideto was scared, and didn't know what to do. He rubbed soothing circles on Yoshiki's back, slowly. "Shhh..." Hideto began whispering, calmly. Yoshiki's tears got Hideto all wet... But, neither of them really cared. Hideto just tried his best to calm the crying man, rocking back and forth, gently. And, Yoshiki just grabbed onto Hideto's jacket, and sobbed into his chest.

Yoshiki's head was lifted, slowly, by Hideto's hand on his chin. They stared into each other's eyes... Yoshiki about ready to touch his lips to Hideto, when Hideto quickly pulled away. Yoshiki lost balance, and fell to the ground. He looked up at Hideto with tear stained eyes. "Hide--..." Yoshiki began, was cut off by Hideto's hand on his mouth. He then stood up, and walked out the door.

Yoshiki just sat slumped in the corner of the change room. Alone. As Hideto disappeared. Yoshiki began to cry again, but not as much over the end of X... It was more /him/ he was crying about. "I love you, Hideto..." He sobbed into his hands. He knew no one heard him. Because nobody was there. But, he almost felt as if he confessed his feelings, even if just to the empty change room.

"Yoshiki!" An excited voice called from the end of Yoshiki Hayashi's phone. Yoshiki had just been awoken by the repetitive ringing of his phone. "Did you hear my new single on the radio!?" The voice asked, excitedly. Yoshiki rubbed his eyes.

"Hideto...?" He muttered, groggily.

"Yes, it's me, who else! Did ya' hear it!?"

"... No... I didn't know you had a n--..."

"Well, gyah! It's on the radio, right now! Go listen!" And, the phone clicked. Yoshiki was tired, so he was a little slow moving out of his room, down the hall, down the stairs, down another hallway, and into the kitchen.

Yoshiki lazily shuffled around his largely kitchen, looking for the radio on the counter. After finding it next to a phone outlet, his tired fingers fumbled for the dial, searching for a station. And, then he stopped. For he had heard the most beautiful voice, singing out... To him... Yoshiki's eyes widened, surprised at how beautiful he thought another man's voice was. "Hideto..." He whispered, in awe.

_I'll see you in the Spring, again..._

Yoshiki's hands clasped over his mouth. Why was he so moved...? A small tear escaped his half-awake eyes. "Oh, Hideto..." The name escaped his parted lips again. The beautiful song continued playing, and more tears fell from his eyes. Until he was all out crying. His best friend was so great... His voice beautiful, his guitar amazing, his song writing so passionate... And, he was hardly experiencing any of it. Hideto went on to be so successful... And, Yoshiki had done nothing but cry in his house, disappearing from the world.

"He's my friend..." Yoshiki whispered to himself. "Friend..." He then laughed at his sudden outburt of tears as the song ended. "Oh, how I love you..." He whispered, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry..."

Yoshiki's realization had made him completely dumbfounded. Ever since then, he had been spending as much time with Hideto as possible. Tonight, they were at a bar. Just the two of them. Drinking. Laughing. Conversing. Being friends...

Hideto was laughing hysterically. And, Yoshiki along with him. Not really about anything. Just laughing. And really just making dumb conversation. Yoshiki couldn't really remember any of the small stuff. Basically questions like "When and who did you last fuck?", "Did you see that new guitar on sale at the store down the street?", "Did you hear this band's new song?" and such. It went on like that for hours. Until Hideto's drunken eyes gazed into Yoshiki's with a slight twinkle.

"Do you think X will ever get back together...?" Hideto asked, innocently, just as if it were another dumb little question. There was a pause. An awkward, uncomfortable pause. From his pocket, Yoshiki grabbed his sunglasses, and put them over his eyes. "I'm going to the bathroom..." He whispered, getting up and stumbling his way to the Men's Washroom. Hideto sat on the bar stool, alone.

"Oi, oi, Yoshi-kun!" Hideto eventually called, as he half ran, half stumbled his way to the Men's Washroom after Yoshiki. He burst through the door, and saw Yoshiki standing over a sink, staring down into it. His lips were slightly parted, and shaking, almost like he was sobbing. Hideto couldn't entirely tell, for he barely saw the top half of his face thanks to his sunglasses.

"Yoshiki...?" Hideto muttered, approaching the man. Yoshiki just shook his head. "Please go..." He whispered. He was crying.

"Yoshiki, I didn't mean to..."

"Hideto! I don't want you to see me like this, ever again!" Yoshiki screamed, removing his sunglasses to reveal tear stained eyes. Hideto shook his head, and wrapped his arms around Yoshiki's waist from behind. "I'm sorry... Don't cry..." Hideto whispered, almost sounding like he was going to cry himself.

Yoshiki swiped some tears away from his face. He missed X, so much... All he could do now was be like a cheerleader for Hideto. And go out drinking with him, almost every day. Hideto was right. He was a mess... Yoshiki turned around from his position, and sobbed into Hideto. "I'm so sorry..." He was whimpering, nuzzling into him. Hideto rocked him back in forth. "Shh, Yoshiki... Everything'll be all right..." He whispered in reply. There was no speaking after that. Yoshiki just cried out all his pain, and Hideto supported him the whole time.

Until a mutter escaped Yoshiki's mouth. "Kiss me..." His voice was so soft. Hideto held him out at shoulder-length. Yoshiki thought he'd been rejected because of his uncalled for plea. But, he was wrong. Hideto's lips meshed with Yoshik'si, in a romantic, passionate way. Yoshiki's eyes widened, and his crying stopped. His lips lifted off Hideto's once. He was unsure. But, then kissed him again, whispering "Oh, Hideto..." Into his mouth. "I love you..." And, this is when Hideto pulled away.

"Wh-what...?" He asked, quite flustered, stuttering on his words.

Yoshiki shoved his palms into his eyes, trying to stop any tears that were threatening him. He was still being held by Hideto, but, pulled back, a bit. "I love you, so much... I always have... I'm sorry..." Yoshiki whispered through his sobs. He couldn't tell what expression Hideto wore. "I'm so sorry..." He cried out, again.

"Yoshiki..." Hideto muttered, stroking his hair. "I'm the one who's sorry..." Yoshiki was given a quick kiss on the cheek. And, he looked up when he felt the hands leave his waist. And, he just saw his backside. Walking away. And, he slumped into a heap on the floor. And sobbed. Crying out Hideto's name. With no reply.

There he was. The lively little guitarist. The amazing rising star. Hideto Matsumoto... hide... Yoshiki's best friend. He laid there, peacefully sleeping. In a wooden coffin. Flowers surrounded his gorgeous, frail little body. "Why..." Was the only word that escaped Yoshiki Hayashi's parted lips. "You left me..."

Yoshiki held a lovely red rose in his hand. He laughed. Almost as if he were able to see the man smiling, again. Happy. Like he always was. But, that was all gone, now. Forever. The hand which was empty brushed a chunk of pink hair from his eternally sleeping face. He wasn't crying. He promised himself he wouldn't. Not anymore. He'd be happy. For the man he loved. He bit at his lip. Hard. "Don't cry..." He whimpered to himself as he tasted blood.

Hideto's hands laid neatly over his chest. Yoshiki laced hide's dead fingers around the rose, after kissing it's petals. He smiled. After all. He was safe as an angel. Wasn't he? No harm would do him again. Right? He wouldn't ever have to see Yoshiki crying over some trivial thing, anymore, right?

_I'll see you in the Spring, again..._

Yoshiki's forced smile began to crack. "Right, Hideto?" He asked the corpse. Tears were falling down his face. Tears Yoshiki didn't notice at first. He then broke down, all support in his legs giving out. He cried over Hideto's dead body. And, kissed him. One last time. One last time...

"I'll love Hideto. Forever." Yoshiki said as clearly as he could. To no one in particular. He would just drape his body over his lover. Tears falling from his eyes, while trembling harshly, until he got pulled away from in. Once he felt arms around his body, tearing him away from Hideto, he knew it was the last time he'd see him. He knew this all too well. "I love you..." He whimpered to hide, who was slowly slipping from his reach. "I love you..." He cried. One last time.

(Just a few side notes from me. .-. Uhmn. I've been very passionate about this, uh. ... 'Pairing'. I feel a little guilty writing about these two particular people, because I love them so much. I mean no offense or disrespect to either of them, or X Japan, or whatever, for I do have the utmost respect for them. Also, I'm not sure if I got all the facts straight. But, please use your imagination. . ... Or flame me to death, which works to. Uhmn, yes. Reviews are appreciated, thank you so much for reading.)


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